Chagrin

I have antecipated reactions. 

I ruin everything because I can see the future. 

And by doing that it means I'm always right. 

Even though I panick sometimes, at least I can say 'I always had it coming'. But it would be nice to just be happy or feel some peace for a change. What's the point of awareness? The only comfort I can give myself is to sustain this idea. Future and paranoia should always match if you're locked up inside a stupid pattern prison.